Wednesday, December 16, 2015

The Rest of the Story

If my Facebook and Instagram posts were truly the summation of my life, they would be a lot messier, and I wouldn't get nearly as many "likes." For example, tonight as I put my overtired, cuddly toddler to bed, she reached for and held my hand as we said prayers. The adorable, quippy and true Facebook status version of that story is: "Having a daughter who can say prayers aloud with you while holding your hand is a new level of awesome."
And that's true. It is. But that's also a sanitized shortened version of why that moment was so meaningful to my mom-heart. Because the moments before that sweetness involved me putting her to bed by myself after a long day of attempting to parent her by myself. (My husband is awesome and working hard for us, but that doesn't make the days shorter. :) I ended up physically holding her down on the changing table and forcing her foot into the footie pajamas after trying unsuccessfully to negotiate with her (rookie mistake) and give her my "I'm serious, child" mom eyes. And after all that impatience and frustration and struggle, she reached for my hand and repeated after me as I asked God for more patience for her tired momma and thanked Him for our day, our family, and Jesus.
Even that expanded version of the truth doesn't encompass all my mistakes, triumphs, and epic need for grace today. We watched too much TV, I got frustrated when she refused to wear her jeans, and I told her with my actions that sometimes my work is more important than her, and it goes on. So, today I am immeasurably grateful for a God who hears our prayers and metes out bushels of grace before we ever know to ask. And I am beyond blessed to have a forgiving baby girl who seems willing to love me through all my trials as a first-time parent. Oh, and as a side note, hearing her little voice say "Jesus" gives me all the feels. I am not good enough to be her mom, but He has me covered in grace. And since all of that just won't fit in a status update, I decided to write it out here. Here's to all (parent or not) of us striving to be our best and awash in His mercy.